Relationships are not always easy to navigate. They require effort, communication and trust. Unfortunately, some relationships go completely awry and result in hatred toward another person. And if you’re on the receiving end of that hatred, it can be incredibly difficult to cope, especially when it’s en masse.
So, what do you do when everyone is against you? Well, we’ve got some solutions. This is what to do when everyone hates you, including your family:
Is it normal to be hated by everyone? No, it’s not. If everyone hates you, try therapy. Therapy is a wonderful place to sort out a variety of issues.
Therapy is a safe space to freely share your problems with a professional. There are lots of therapists in existence who specialize in relationships, particularly familial relationships, and will be able to guide you through your particular situation.
If everyone hates you, a therapist can help you sort out why this might be, and provide you with ideas to resolve the issue. It’s likely a complex issue that is a bit nuanced between each relationship, and a therapist can help track those complexities and look for patterns. Therapy is a great place to start when everyone hates you.
Give Each Other Space
Hatred stems from various issues. Sometimes it’s an insidious reason that grows and comes to a head. Other times a singular event sparks hatred. If there was an event that either caused or exacerbated feelings of hatred, it’s important to give each other space to process emotions.
It’s also important to give each other space when you try to be nice but everyone hates you. Time spent apart allows everyone involved to evaluate their feelings and determine a course of action.
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Oftentimes hatred comes from a fundamental misunderstanding between parties. Misunderstandings are common, complex, and require communication to be resolved.
Take the time to communicate with your loved ones, and remember that communication means more than just talking. Communication involves body language, tone of voice, word choice, and listening, among other things.
Clearly state your point and share your feelings, but listen to the other person, too. Communicate to come to an understanding and move forward in your relationship.
If everyone hates you, it’s important to ask yourself questions about the situation, especially because it could be imagined. Ask yourself questions like:
- Why does everyone in my family hate me?
- What did I do that made them hate me?
- Is there something I did and didn’t realize?
If you are struggling to come up with answers to these questions, then perhaps you only think everyone hates you, when in reality they don’t.
So, what is it called when you think everyone hates you? It has various names, including paranoia, catastrophizing, personalization, mind-reading, and all-or-nothing thinking. These are different types of cognitive distortions, and they are all considered irrational thinking patterns.
Determine If There is an Issue
If you believe you are truly hated, but you’re still unsure, here are signs everyone hates you:
- They exclude you
- They talk about you behind your back
- They leave when you arrive
If you hate yourself and everyone hates you, practice self-care. You can’t do much to change the minds of other people, but you can change how you feel about yourself.
Work on your relationship with yourself by forgiving yourself for any mistakes you’ve made, finding your inner beauty, and getting to know yourself. Taking these major steps will help you love yourself. When you love yourself, you stop caring how other people feel about you.
Self-care doesn’t have to be intense work all the time, though. Do fun and relaxing activities, too, like journaling, taking a bubble bath, or having a day out to yourself. These activities will help you to enjoy your own company, and you’ll slowly notice a change in how you feel about yourself.
Work on Yourself
If everyone hates you and you have no friends, you need to work on yourself. This can be a hard pill to swallow, but it’s important. Oftentimes, if everyone hates you, you are the problem. It’s important that you look inward to determine what it is that makes everyone hate you.
If you’ve communicated with your loved ones and they’ve all given you the same or similar reasons as to why they hate you, take that to heart. Examine your own actions and start monitoring your behavior to become a better person. You must be a friend to have a friend.
If everyone hates you because of your past, work to change. Leave the past in the past and focus on the present and the future. If you have changed and your loved ones still hate you because of your past, work on coping with their feelings.
There is only so much you can do to change the minds of others, but it’s important that you at least try.
Try to Resolve the Issue
If everyone hates you for a specific reason, try to resolve the issue. Communicate your feelings and your perspective on the issue. Listen to others while they share their feelings and perspective, and see if you can come to a resolution.
Understand that this may take time and several conversations. Hatred is a difficult feeling to sort out, and the more patient you are with people, the better things will be.
You may need to seek outside help, like that of a therapist or a religious authority, to resolve your issues. Determine what everyone is comfortable with, and seek necessary help.
Focus on Yourself
If you’ve tried everything you can and everyone still hates you, focus on yourself. The only person whose opinion of you matters is you. Love yourself, become the best version of yourself you can be, and radically love others, even if they hate you. You can only control yourself, so focus on what you can control.
It’s hard to know what to do when everyone hates you, including your family, but focusing on yourself is a good place to start.