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Friendship To Family: Friends Are The Family You Choose

Friends Are The Family You Choose

They say blood is thicker than water, meaning family ties run deep. People will choose their family above all others. But, what’s the saying about friends and family? “Friends are the family you choose.” Sometimes, friendships can run even deeper than family bonds.

It comes down to reflecting on your own thoughts about what makes a family. Different people have unique perceptions of what a family should be. But most people agree that family sticks by each other. But, friends can also stick by your side, so does that make them family too?

Who Said Friends Are The Family You Choose?

The famous “friends are the family you choose” quote comes from author and artist Jess C. Scott. It appeared in her book, “The Other Side of Life.” But, there’s another variation from actress, entrepreneur, and shoe designer Angela Simmons. The latter is quoted as saying, “I’m so thankful for my real friends. Friends are priceless. It’s the family we choose.”

It’s one of those quotes that resonates with many individuals because so many people have extremely close ties to friends. But, what does “friends are the family you choose” mean? Put simply, the friends you hold close to your heart that would do anything for you often feel like family.

In many cases, people might even have more intimate relationships with these friends than with their blood relations. But, since you aren’t technically related, if you consider your friends your family, you choose to do so. 

Do You Consider Your Friends Your Family?

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Ask yourself a few questions about your family and friends. Do you see your friends more often than you see your family? If you’re experiencing a challenging time, who’s the first person you think to call? Is it a friend or a family member? 

When you receive good news, do you tell your friend first or a relative? Do you have close friends that always end up at your family gatherings? Do you trust your friend with your life? And can your friend trust you with theirs?

In a nutshell, your friends feature prominently in your relationships. For many people, their friends end up being an extremely significant part of their lives.

If you have friends who are always by your side, through thick and thin, you likely consider them part of your family. For you, it doesn’t matter that you’re not related by blood. You might hear many people refer to specific individuals as “the mother they never had” or “my honorary sister.” 

These terms are ways people express just how much their friends mean to them. People’s perception of family is that they should be the most important people in your life. Family should look out for each other no matter what. Sure, you didn’t get to choose your family, but you still should have an extraordinary loyalty to each other. 

However, for some people, this type of relationship just isn’t there with certain family members. But, they have fierce loyalty and affection for their friends. This feeling is at the heart of the idea that “friends are the family you choose.”

Is Family More Important Than Friends?

The answer to who’s more important, family or friends, is a very personal one. Some would say your family is your family, no matter what. If it comes down to choosing between your family and your friends, you have to pick your family. Family sticks by each other (or at least they’re supposed to).

However, there are those that would argue their relationship with their family is almost non-existent at best. Many people never see their family, or unfortunately, some people might not have any family left.

But, there are people that have an incredibly close relationship with their friends. These people trust their friends above all others, including family members. 

They take the concept of what a family should be and apply it to their friends. So, in these situations, their friends become more important to them than family.

What Makes Friends Like Family?

Friendship to family
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Everyone has different levels of friends. You have people you only interact with through social media. You have the friends you only see at work or the ones you might see at a weekly book club. If you have kids, the parents of your child’s pals might be your friends. But you might only see them on playdates or at kid’s birthday parties.

But then there are those select few friends that are the epitome of friendship. These are the people that you have on speed dial. The ones that you see frequently. You might have known them your whole life or only a few months, but you’re there for each other anytime, anyplace. 

It’s the friend that would come to your aid at 3 AM to fix your flat tire. The friend that helps you pick yourself up off the floor when you’ve lost your job. It’s the friend that knows you don’t like cream in your coffee or that you can’t stand it when someone calls you instead of texts.

A true friend is worth their weight in gold. They’re the one who has seen you at your best and your worst (and stayed by you anyway). To be like family, a friend sticks by you; they don’t walk away when things get rough.

To quote Proverbs, “Friends come, and friends go. But a true friend sticks by you like family.” You’ll see a different variation of this quote, but they all share the same core value.

Can Friends Become Your Family?

Of course, friends can also become your family in the literal sense. For example, you marry your best friend or they marry into your family by wedding another relative.  But, if you have a friend that has your back no matter what, then they’re family, pure and simple.

Wrapping It Up

So, yes, friends can be like family, and they are the family you choose. Perhaps this gives them a bit more clout — the fact that you chose each other. You want to be a part of each other’s lives and experiences.

You’re not in each other lives because of any obligation or blood relation. You’re there for each other because you choose to be, and that is genuinely what family (and friendship) is all about.

Stacy Randall is a wife, mother, and freelance writer from New Orleans, LA. She enjoys traveling with her family and creating new memories, and also serves as a drama teacher for kindergarten through middle school.